Well. Hello.
I figure I’m in due time to update this lameass blog.
I’m still in Austin Texas; whether it is a mental breakdown that keeps me away from Dallas - I am not sure - but I have a bad habit of leaving homebase for several months and fucking off and drinking…. or well, I still drank my ass off whilst living in Dallas/Fort Worth…. I just enjoy meeting new folks in new environments.
I intend to head to Colorado soon; we plan to rubbertramp our asses up there since I crave seeing mountains again; and moreso seeing new people. It’s already here, in Austin Texas that I have met so many awesome folks that I do not want to leave, though I want to have some kind of change of environment - I guess I cannot find myself properly and choose to drink and run away from everything. I cannot explain this certain breaking point; however alcohol is a huge influence. I often wish I could just be normal.
The past week I’ve been going through problems with my innerds - I might only be 22 but I’ve been drinking for many years and perhaps it is finally catching up with me. I don’t keep track of how much I drink; as after 10 beers I binge. My buddy hooked me up with antibiotics… I think I have a kidney infection. I’ve had bladder and urinary infections, but this is different. My back hurts like a motherfuck and peeing is hell. I find myself waking up every hour of the night in pain and I feel that my body is near bout to explode.
I need to slow down.
As I type this at this moment I am sucking on my beautiful bottle of Old Crow.
Is this a demise of Beth? Or simple a quarter-life crisis?
I cannot foretell the future; I understand I am immature and irresponsible - but I’m one lost individual and I choose to drink my ass off to escape how much I have fucked up. Alcohol is the solution yet the cause of all problems.
I enjoy those I currently am around; I feel that I have folks who enjoy my company… and the reason for that is that I just want to be liked. All humans want to be liked.
I met this swell felllow; Harvey ; he’s a very talented tattoo artist. He did a piece of one of my ferrets on my calf. We’ve been hanging out for weeks now; living together with other buddies.
New places. New faces; I love it. I enjoy meeting new folks.
Well, I’m getting drunker as I get further into this blog, so I must quit typing.