He hasn’t called me for over a fuckin week, which he does a lot (even once as long as 4 weeks) so I give up.
But go figure, I’m not housing and feeding him anymore so it only makes sense he finds me too useless to call.
So, after a little over a year I’m single. Again.
I hate men. I’m not touching one, kissing one, nor even looking at one anymore. They are all selfish, fake users who are only opportunists. I have a vibrator. He works just fine, if not better. And I’ll daydream about Heath Ledger, whom is dead… but all men are to me anyways.
And in other news - I saw VNV Nation last night. IT WAS AMAZING.
I cried. Twice. haha
I had a nightmare last night that my bf/it’scomplicated died.
I lent him my truck, so he could go to the gas station to buy beer and cigarettes, and he never came back. A few days go by and I notice all his stuff is gone from my room, and my mom is with me (somehow, I’m in my parents house back in El Paso) and she reads an article in the newspaper saying they found a slain man out in the desert inside a chevy silverado (which is my car). I sob my ass off, go crazy, and it was pretty much a terrible gutwretching nightmare.
A couple days go by and there’s another article in the paper saying the name of this person they found and it wasn’t Devin, but someone I don’t even know. The truck wasn’t even mine, I had jumped to conclusions as far as that first article.
So as it turns out, he took all his shit, stole my truck and left. The end. I sobbed even more.
Sheesh. What the hell.
We’re having problems. I’m just sitting around playing Assassin’s Creed because I’m so pissed off at the world, and at least I can kill people on this because otherwise I’d be wanting to in real life.
Every once and a while, my 2 year old male ferret, Maynard, sleeps on the lowest level of the cage right next to the litterbox. This will continue for a couple days, then he’ll be back to sleeping on the 3 floor, where I’ve spent around $100 on hammocks/beds/enclosed pyramid hammock thingers/etc. My female, Indica, never does this. She sleeps in the designated bedroom, not the bathroom where they shit and the floor has no padding but is plastic. It’s weird and I can’t quite figure out why he does this. It’s cool in the room, so he’s not looking for an open area with cool flooring - or maybe he is. Who knows. But you’d think he wouldn’t want to be snoozing right next a box of shit.
And I had a nightmare the other night that I was in some random house out in the middle of nowhere with Devin and two other people, who I don’t know. The place got attacked by monsters and most of the dream consisted of us trying to get out and stabbing these monsters with kitchen knives. At some point, we made it outside and there was a motorcycle, the four of us piled onto it but ended up wrecking the thing in less then a mile. After that it turned into us running through the desert, trying to get away with these weirdass monsters coming after us. I don’t remember much else but I think I woke up at this point.
Who knows what the hell all that means.
Oh and by the way, I failed to mention I had my birthday about 2 weeks ago. I’m 22. Oh joy.
I didn’t even get drunk. Imagine that.
So it’s 5am and I find myself unable to sleep, as usual. I’m tired and can’t stop yawning, but still lay in bed waiting.
Instead I’ve been looking at dumb shit on the internet. Video game walkthroughs on youtube, in particular. I felt like having a moment of nostalgia and watched one of Wolfenstein 3d, which made me warm and fuzzy inside because I remember playing the hell out of that back when I was a kid. Apparently they have released it for PS3, exactly how it was back in the day. I’d like to get that and replay it again.
And you cannot forget -
FUCKING JILL OF THE JUNGLE.
Hell yeah, I was surprised to find that on there and damn happy because I haven’t seen this since I was like, 6. Sheesh, I was 4 when it came out (1991). And this dude playing it was a shitton better then I was. I always had a hard time figuring things out on that game.
Now I know where my Tomb Raider addiction came from. It had to start with Jill.
I also watched a brief clip of Fallout 3, and immediately bought it online. It looks badass, I want to keep watching the walkthrough but don’t want to ruin it for when I play. I also really want Bioshock, but I decided on Fallout 3 instead. I also want the Orange Box, I haven’t played Half-Life in forever and am ready to do so again. I love post apocalyptic shit.
God dammit, I just want everything. I want every game out there so I can be happily a hermit and never have to leave my house. ever again.
I’ve also started trying to play Assassin’s Creed again. I’ve got a little further but I find it so damn hard to get into.