BethTrippin.com

I was sticking a sewing needle between my teeth when I noticed I broke a chunk off one of my front ones. Fuckkkk. At least it’s from the backside, so you can’t see anything when I smile. It’s annoying though, and I keep tonguing it.

So I went to New Braunfels with my sister for the night. Her friend from California was there, and being that it’s only 4 hours away we drove down there to hang out. It was alright, not much to do there. But I like going to new places even if the don’t have much to do. It was an experience.

And…

Tomorrow I’m driving to Beaumont to see DEVIN!!!!!
YES. It’s been weeks since we’ve seen each other and I’m going insane.
There’s also a show on saturday, Molotov Compromise is playing at Julio’s garage. Woohoo.

I’m just dreading the 5 and half hour drive. Ick.

Twister is on TNT. I haven’t seen this shit in years - hellz yeah. Good ole Bill Paxton. Ha.

And the Popeyes near my house is ran by a bunch of morons. I had to repeat my order 3 times at the intercom and they still got it completely wrong, it was cold, and the dude at the window wouldn’t stop trying to have a conversation with me. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have been so frustrated, but one of my contacts fell out while driving there - so here I was driving with only one eye open to keep myself from getting nauseous. Then I somehow managed to near hang myself with my seat belt when I got out of my car, causing my chicken box to open and my biscuit fell out.

I also owe the City of Irving about $300-400 worth of fines that I do not know how the hell I’m going to pay. Ugh.

Fuck my life.

I just want to go to Beaumont, pick up Devin, and drive north - anywhere. Or go back to New Mexico and be woodland people. Max the shit out of my gas card. Run away. The past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster.

These are from last night -

I need to cut my bangs. They’re getting annoying.
I’m also getting more and more addicted to makeup. The best site EVER. It’s pointless. But whatever. I have nothing better to do then paint my face.

I hate that Devin lives 300 miles away. Why can’t I just find a fucking job, get my shit together, my own place… and have him stay with me; like a normal couple.

Oh wait … NOBODIES HIRING ME. I’m going to my next interview tipsey (no - not really, but it’s crossed my mind).

Fuck the world. I hope the apocalypse hurries the fuck up and I’m standing right in the path of it. Fuck everyone. This is a big shithole where only the selfish survive.

So Which Wich didn’t hire me.

I’m a little bit of a mess (not nearly as bad as ‘07 though). Without a job, I have nothing to do. And when there’s nothing to do, I drink. I’m trying to quit entirely; I went 3 days and then drank last night. I think the only way to have even a small chance at stopping would be to lock myself up in my house and never go out. Being around a bunch of people is impossible without a couple shots.

Ugh.

And I’m having badass dreams once again. For the past week it’s been the most random shit. Last night’s was very weird, at some point I was on the top of my childhood bunk-bed on a cliff and stuck there. It made no sense, it was kind of scary. I also dreamt of ferrets running around everywhere (a common occurrence in my dreams). I love sleeping. I love lucid dreams. I can do anything in them. I can be anyone.

A brief message from Gus’ room…

So I have an interview tomorrow. Another. I swear, if I don’t get hired - I’ll just become a traveler (well, not really… but that would sure be an experience).

Seriously. Petco didn’t hire me - even with an entirely open schedule. Hot topic wouldn’t either (guess I didn’t have enough accessories on my clothes). I know it’s because I’m terrible with interviews. I can’t lie worth a damn, fidget, and suck at eye contact. Which is usual for me even in regular conversation. I also guess that being a 2 time college drop out doesn’t help either.

It’s very easy for me to get discouraged. With jobs, everything.

I’m already a nervous wreck about tomorrow.

I apologize to my 1 visitor. I skipped and invoice for the hosting, so the account was suspended. It’s back and running.

I got a Flickr account: Here

Uhm….
Yeah.

I have much to say; constantly. However, much of things I feel the need to share should be kept silent.
I suppose this has much to do with that - back when I first started blogging… when I was around the age of 14 - it was more acceptable. I felt more like I needed to share my feelings. I desire to feel the same. I want to post things about how I feel, I refuse to sugercoat my life - because my life is quite complicated.
My posts with my past websites were much more open then what I have today. My past websites include - jambled.nu; orinoco.nu - and several others. I suppose that I’ve closed myself off from the world.

Nihilist. Yes. I am.

Tired. Sick. Disgusted.