BethTrippin.com

Back from Colorado, we spent about 2 months there and it was plenty of fun. But just as all other locations, things got pretty boring and dramatic.

There’s a lot of ridiculusly humourous stories I’ve collected whilst being in Colorado, I wouldn’t even know where to begin if I were to tell them. I spent most of my time there camping in the mountains up in Nederland, the park in Boulder (which was better then comedy central and cartoon network combined, though sometimes got pretty stupid with all the locals and traveling kids being crazy drunks). Often I just found random sleeping spots when I didn’t work up enough money for gas to get to anywhere… but always was with newfound friends and stuck around different crews. We also spent some time in Denver.. which SUCKED.

One thing is my current health condition… it was about 1 week into Colorado that I woke early morning after a night of drinking MD 20/20 with this horrible pain in my abdomin. It was most extreme in the center, right below my ribcage. I tried to battle it out but about an hour into it I started puking bile, and I mean LOTS of it. I asked my buddies for a ride to the hospital - so off I go… I’m hoping it’s some kind of stomach flu but I know it is not, the pain is so unbearable. I’ve never felt such in my life.

I get to the hospital, they give a dihydromorphine drip (mmhmm, however the pain at that point was so bad nothing seemed to help), run a series of tests such as an ultrasound, catscans, etc… and then tell me I have some shit called pancreatitis. Apparently I’ve drank my pancreas to it’s breaking point.

I spend a week in the hospital, bombarded with social workers, religious AA chapmans.. even my parents found out and show up and pull an intervention on my ass. Being in such pain in the hospital is the last place for all this self-reflection bullshit.

A week later I’m out, I manage to not touch beer or anything for another 2 weeks or so, but eventually I fuck up again and go on a 3 day rum binge and end up back in the hospital… same shit goes down. This time I left early against their orders, on July 13th - my 23rd birthday. The following week was hell, being on the streets in massive pain is NOT fun.
Though, in the end of all that I consider myself lucky, it takes some kind of wake-up call to make one realize that we’re not invincible. It could have been worse, I could have been killed or accidently killed an innocent.

Needless to say, I’m still drinking.. about half the past amount but it’s very hard to not get back to that point. I don’t drink enough to withdrawl, so I’m able to make it through a day without a drink. But hell, I’ll figure it out at somepoint.

Also, I got a rat. I’ve currently had him for about 2 months and named him Ned after the town Nederland. He’s still a baby, and pretty much with me 24/7. Click on photo for full size.

He’s become very special to me, who would have thought one could get separation anxiety from a rat?Here’s a current photo from about a week ago, we’re currently back in El Paso where I’m visiting my parents and getting some much-needed shit taken care of. From left to right, old high school friends Josh and Nica. Then myself and my boyfriend Harvey.

Then a ridiculus busted-ass photo of a drunk chick..

Yep.
Next plan - Tennesse, then the east coast. I’m really hoping for Virginia.

I figure I’m in due time to update this lameass blog.

I’m still in Austin Texas; whether it is a mental breakdown that keeps me away from Dallas -  I am not sure - but I have a bad habit of leaving homebase for several months and fucking off and drinking…. or well, I still drank my ass off whilst living in Dallas/Fort Worth…. I just enjoy meeting new folks in new environments.

I intend to head to Colorado soon; we plan to rubbertramp our asses up there since I crave seeing mountains again; and moreso seeing new people. It’s already here, in Austin Texas that I have met so many awesome folks that I do not want to leave, though I want to have some kind of change of environment - I guess I cannot find myself properly and choose to drink and run away from everything. I cannot explain this certain breaking point; however alcohol is a huge influence. I often wish I could just be normal.

The past week I’ve been going through problems with my innerds - I might only be 22 but I’ve been drinking for many years and perhaps it is finally catching up with me.  I don’t keep track of how much I drink; as after 10 beers I binge. My buddy hooked me up with antibiotics… I think I have a kidney infection. I’ve had bladder and urinary infections, but this is different. My back hurts like a motherfuck and peeing is hell. I find myself waking up every hour of the night in pain and I feel that my body is near bout to explode.

I need to slow down.

As I type this at this moment I am sucking on my beautiful bottle of Old Crow.

Is this a demise of Beth? Or simple a quarter-life crisis?

I cannot foretell the future; I understand I am immature and irresponsible - but I’m one lost individual and I choose to drink my ass off to escape how much I have fucked up. Alcohol is the solution yet the cause of all problems.

I enjoy those I currently am around; I feel that I have folks who enjoy my company… and the reason for that is that I just want to be liked. All humans want to be liked.

I met this swell felllow; Harvey ; he’s a very talented tattoo artist. He did a piece of one of my ferrets on my calf. We’ve been hanging out for weeks now; living together with other buddies.
New places. New faces; I love it. I enjoy meeting new folks.

Well, I’m getting drunker as I get further into this blog, so I must quit typing.

Yeah I’m alive.
… Whether that’s good or bad; I’m unsure.

A lot has happened, lost another job, met a guy (no idea where that’s going but I’m just taking it as it comes - after all; men = greatness, then quickly followed by hell and further loneliness). Been going to many punk/metal shows, denounced 4 people as friends in the past month (3 of which because drugs and I’m not going to see them go down like so many others; and I’ve been there, lost my first two apartments because of that and much of my sanity) and another because of that guy I mentioned previously (makes no sense; she’s just crazy).

I’ve been drunk for the past 4 years or so but it comes in phases, and the past 3 months has literally been nonstop. I mean, I do manage not to drink during the day, but once 6pm comes around I get very shaky and antsy and that leads me to a drink, then to another, and about 10 more following that. Otherwise I just get jumpy, my vision slightly looses itself; and forget trying to sleep, the paralysis gets horrendous.
The drama involving several folks has pretty much set me in a bad mind-set and my depression is kicking in again. Or, well. I think I’m always depressed. I just like to try to keep myself distracted.
I’ve also had a bad habit these past many months of not going home. I go out, and pretty much couch surf between multiple friend’s apartments and get drunk as piss night after night. I hate coming home, it just makes me feel guilty to be sitting in my sister’s house because I cannot get my life together. I also hate the fact that when my parents come in town I feel like I’m of no importance - and sure, it is my fault, I’ve always ben a very complicated child. But as of now, I almost feel no bond with my family (besides my sister, whom I feel is slowly getting tired of putting up with me).

Hell. Fuck it. It could always be worse. That’s my life motto. Has been for many years. And when I do come home, I enjoy lying on my floor playing with the ferrets.

Damn, who woulda thought vodka and mango V8 Splash was a damn good combination.

If someone could just create a tele-porter; please contact me. I’m interested in being a guinea pig. Send me to an uninhabited island with nothing but horses and rolling hills with rocky cliffs and waterfalls.

Oh and I just remembered to mention, I got a letter in the mail today with was rather humorous. Texas has this whole ‘Don’t Mess with Texas’ campaign; which… previously… thought it was just some random road-signs that tax payers paid for. BUT - this letter I received had a notice saying that I was witnessed throwing a cigarette butt out of my car on October 5th 2009 at 7am and a civilian turned me in. The letter even has my plate number on it, make and model of my car, and the location of which this occurred at.
What boggles my mind is the fact that some dumbass tree-hugging hippie would go as far as to call the ‘Report a Litterer’ program for a mother fucking cigarette butt. Ridiculous.

Move to an Indian slum. Then call ‘Report a Litterer’ and see how many laughs you get. Jesus Christ. The letter they sent me probably used just as much resources as a fucking cig butt that’ll bio-degenerate in 10 years anyway.

People are so fucking retarded. All they want to do is start problems. There’s such a select few who actually care and want to have a good time.

This is seriously one poor excuse for a blog. It looks like shit, I don’t write anything really thought provoking, and it’s rarely updated. Sheesh.

So No Thanks Fest was last weekend, just two good ole’ days of being drunk, listening to good music and rolling around in the mud. My stomach hurts like crazy from all the alcohol consumption (well, and I drank last night, so that’s mainly why). Someone jacked the front plate of my truck and maybe my ipod (though there’s a large chance I could have just dropped it somewhere). But it’s worth it in the end, since I haven’t had that much fun in a really long time and I’m already impatient about next year. I’ve never met such hospitable people in my life, everyone was just very friendly and if they had a bottle of booze or some food they’d straight up ask if you wanted any.

The music was great, no real bad shit happened, even getting shot twice by a paintball gun by Lala’s crazy boyfriend was fun.

I also dreamt last night that I was in a Buddhist temple and there was some attractive dude I was hanging out with who wore a shirt with Sesame’s Street Ernie on it. The dream got very vivid but I’ll spare you guys. I wonder who he’s supposed to represent. His face is fuzzy, but didn’t seem like anyone familiar. Just an average guy.
I’ve been getting some really wacked dreams lately.

Oh and, uhm… by the way. I quit my job. Well, it was more like… I stopped showing up.
I just couldn’t take it anymore, they were a bunch of lazy assholes who had me doing all the work.

So here I am back at point A. Jobless. Huge social life. Drunk 75% of the time. Least I’m not depressed, or not yet anyways.

I rarely get comments these days that don’t involve Viagra or Russian spam; but it’s been about 2 weeks since I last checked this shit and I actually had two that were made from humans. I emailed one of the gals back, and then there was this one that I find thoughtful. Thanks person whomever you are. You should leave me an email address or myspace url so I can get back to ya.

My damn Macbook had some kind of stroke and won’t turn on now.. well; she turns on but stays on this floresent blue screen and doesn’t boot-up from there. Fuck my life. I intend to take her to the apple store to find out exactly what’s going on, but I’m sure it will involve me spending a asscrap of money to fix. I’m worried that it could be the harddrive; I have all my music on my ipod (which I seriously need to backup NOW before that MF fails on me just as all electonics do) and many photos uploaded on this server - but there are still things on the comp that mean the world to me (such as numorous videos of my deceased friend). I just refuse to think about it because it makes me want to bomb apple inc.

I’ve also been partying moreso in Bedford; I ended up calling in sick for work one day and then not calling nor showing another day last week. That cannot happen again, I will loose my job and once more I’ll be in a world of depression self-hatred shit. I’m really back on the alcohol again, that too must stop. However, willpower is just some word I cannot fathom. Everyday I clock out at work and drive home I have the hardest time keeping my mind set on just going to the house and not pulling into a convience store to buy booze. 95% of the time I fail. 80% of that I end up drunk as shit and get 3 hours of sleep and somehow manage to make to work at 6am still drunk and hating it. It really has nothing to do with having fun anymore; but just this weird pull of having my mind someplace other then ‘normal’.

Well. It’s only up to me to do anything about it, yet here I am - have had 8 beers and gotta get up at 6am tomorrow. I’m not ‘drunk’, but am buzzing slightly. Oh fuckkkk.
Why me? Is there any REAL explanation for this? I got piss drunk last night, and 4 nights last week. Shouldn’t that be enough?! My sister and her bf even hide their beer in her car, which is fuckin pathetic. Sheesh.

As for the whole Bedford party-hardy times, I think those folks are all sick of me. I need to be caged.

Yeah, well. I must get some sleep.

…on here.

There isn’t much to talk about these days, I’m consumed with working and whenever I’m home I’m passed out by 9pm or playing video games.

I’m off sunday, so I’ll be able to go to a much anticipated show in Denton tomorrow night; the band headlining is Hellbasterd and they’re pretty awesome. There’s also a bunch of good local grind/crust bands playing as well.
I think I’m just excited about going to a show, it’s been about a month since I last went to one and I’m starting to get withdrawls.

The past two times I went out I just hung and got drunk with a small group of friends in Bedford. Fun times. Fun times. I’ve really been saving money by not going to bars, it makes a huge difference. Not to mention the fact I have a job and am putting in about 40 hrs a week. I pay my sister half my paycheck, but I’m still better on cash then I ever have been and knowing I earned it makes me feel pretty damn good.

As for the diet - eh. I’m not doing as good, I’m still keeping my calories under 1600 a day and I don’t drink anything other then water with lemons (but beer calls on occasions). Or well, hm.. I’m actually not doing anything wrong with it. I eat a multigrain turkey sandwich with no mayo at work, and at home I make sure to consume just low-cal stuff. I’ve also been doing good with not eating past 7pm.
Yesterday was a big no-no … I got a full rack of ribs from Chili’s and ate the ENTIRE thing. Eeeeek.

Also, something hilarious happened last weekend, I got a call from ‘it’ and I was drunk as shit and being a bitch to him. Haha; I’m sure I said a lot of dumbass things but hell, I don’t care. I’ll never see him again anyways, he’s on the otherside of the damn country. Good.

I just took a 2 hour nap and dreamt I was surfing on a mountain of bagels and my boss was trying to get me arrested for it. The cop was ridiculously hot too.

Hm. Well, I don’t make any sense of that.

I’m going to stop by some computer store and see if they sell left and right click mice for macs. As stated in yesterdays post, I want to get back into graphic design but that’s near impossible with a touch pad. I also need to find a free version of Adobe Photoshop, I hope with a bunch of digging on the internet I can find something; who cares if it’s version 4.0.
I have photoshop on my other windows laptop, but that computer has smoked too many spliffs or something because it’s ridiculously slow and half the keyboard doesn’t work. Plus - it’s annoying as all hell to create designs on there, then have to transfer them to my mac (because I can’t get the damn internet working on it, and I’d like to have all my files organized on one comp).
In fact, I’m also having problems with my keys sticking on this mac as well. You folks might notice my spelling is off these days but that’s because of this.

I’m off tomorrow (YAY) but gotta go in sunday (BOO) so I’m going out tonight to a grind show. I have not been drunk in 7 days (a record) so I’m totally drinking it up tonight. I’ll take $30 with me and leave all the debit cards at home so I don’t end up spending everything and getting completely hammered. This is what all problem drinkers should do, and totally works for me. Just as long as people don’t offer to buy drinks for me, or I don’t ask them too (yes, I’ve asked before whilst belligerent and got what I wanted). I also ate light today so that- along with the beer, I won’t consume a massive amount of calories. Eating over a thousand calories and then going out for a night of drinking and having around 10 beers is BAAAD.

I started working monday. All week I have been working 6am-noon (will do so tomorrow and friday as well). On this day, I talk to an old friend on myspace. There was a party, she invited me. I denied.. since my having to rise and shine at 4am to make it to my 6am shift.

So comes tuesday, and I get up quite easily and am actually looking forward to work, though wishing I could have attended that party. Later that day, another old friend texts me, saying his girlfriend is having a birthday party that night. AGAIN, I have to stay in because I had to work today at 6am.

Now I’m home, and got on myspace, and noticed a bulletin bout… guess what? THERE’S A PARTY TONIGHT.

GOD DAMMIT. I have work again, tomorrow morning at 6am (gotta get up at 4 once again). So I ain’t going.

What the hell? Every day that I have worked so far has had a nightly party. This rarely happens. It only had to because now that I finally got a job (that demands me waking up before the crack of dawn) everyone coincidentally is throwing parties, and all folks whom I haven’t seen in many months. AHH!

I could go out, but make sure I get my ass home by 11pm so I get enough sleep… but that’s impossible. I’m very familiar with myself when it comes to going out, once I have a beer, it leads to another, and another, and well… I’m pretty much incapable of moving the following day because of a hangover. With blending work with a social life I just cannot function, it’s either one or the other.
I’m just hoping I have the weekend off. There’s a big show friday night that I’ve been looking forward to for weeks. If I’m asked to come to work at 6am on saturday then I’ll have to miss it.

But it’s all worth it in the end, I really do enjoy work and makes me feel great about myself. Sure, customers are morons and piss me off (especially being in southlake - the richest town in the US), but it’s fun to be doing something productive.

I still can’t believe how people can enjoy bagels so damn much, I never really liked them in the first place.. and we have customers who come in everyday and get themselves the same ole bagel. First off - that must get boring, and it would be a lot cheaper just to buy them from the grocery store with your own cream cheese. I mean, we sell hundreds of them every morning. Boxes and boxes of bagels. Geez.
I try not to eat anything where I work though, it’s all very high in calories and I’m currently a damn manatee - if I ate the food they served here I’d be a whale within a month.

As stated previously, I like this job. I’m catching on pretty quick. One of the managers mentioned she’d start training me as cashier soon - which kind of bothers me. I’m just now getting my current position down and she already wants to stick me someplace new. What the hell. I like knowing my place and what I’m supposed to do, it keeps the customers happy and the line moving when I’m not asking for help when we’re in the middle of a rush. I hate seeing unsatisfied customers.

——————————————

AND I CAN’T STOP PLAYING FALLOUT 3.
I bought the Vault Boy bobblehead off ebay.. lol. I’m so obsessed with this game. I’m about halfway through level 19 and pretty much cleaned up on the main missions, I still have to complete the last one but I’ll get to that waaaay later once I’ve scavenged all of the Wasteland and side quests. Seriously, this game has become my life these past 2 months. I have no idea how many hours I’ve put into it but it’s quite a lot. Everything about it is perfect. I have my own separate life. I even have insane dreams just about every night based off of it.

Not to mention, I really enjoy hacking the computer terminals. I used to hate it, but after practicing I find it tons of a fun and a brain teaser.
I’ve pretty much played as a neutral character the whole time, never really doing anything extremely evil or super nice. I just steal a bunch of shit, so that’s pretty much the only thing bringing down my karma. Running around the wasteland shooting things and discovering new places is so damn fun.

I can’t wait to get the expansions. I don’t think I’ve had this much fun with a video game since Ocarina of Time (there’s been a lot since then, but as far as obsession). Oblivion is also a good game, but I really do enjoy Fallout a lot more - maybe because it is post-apocalyptic, and I love that kind of stuff.

There’s a show on lifetime called ‘Blush‘ and I love it. It’s just like ‘Project Runway‘ - a competetive reality type, but with makeup. It gives me ideas.

I also had badass weekend of getting drunk and going to shows. Cassie also took me to a salon where I got my lip and eyebrows waxed. I’ve had that done before, but they didn’t really take off much (as far as my brows). This time they did, and it’s amazing how much it’s made my whole face look better. Then we got pedicures - which I’ve never done before and was a little apprehensive about spending money on it - but it turned out great. The massage was something I seriously needed. It was really weird having my feet touched by someone else but I just shoved that stupid anxiety to the back of my mind. I also got my toes painted, french tips. I like looking at them all the time now.

Also, Devin hasn’t called in four fucking days and I can’t help but fret that he’s dead or found someone else. I’d like to see him on thanksgiving but that won’t happen unless he fucking calls before thursday. I spent Thanksgiving alone last year and I’m quite certain I can do it again this year. Blah.

I’m feeling really bitchy and coming down with a damn cold.

Mom took me shopping for the wedding, against my wishes. We went to a posh mall in Dallas, I couldn’t find jack shit and getting frustrated about it. I was going to get black pants and some kind of black top, paired with a scarf or something. We hit up the Gap, ugh.

Then we go to Anthropologie, which is ridiculously over-priced and I cannot believe how they get away with fucking people over to that extent. I’m wondering around looking at everything (bad mood settling in)… then I look straight ahead, and there’s this black dress. She glowed. She’s ruffly and simple, made of cotton. I try her on, doesn’t fit, try on another, doesn’t fit. Try on the NEXT size up - barely fits. We ask for the NEXT fucking size, they don’t have it.

It was THE dress. I had to have it. Got it. Can’t breathe in it, but whatever. It’s my damn amazonian/swimmer sized shoulders and rip cage.

I haven’t owned/worn a dress for a couple years. We then got black patterned footless tights, and paired with my busted up red heels… I actually felt like a lady.

The wedding turned out to be pretty good, I suppose a few glasses of wine went a long way when associating with family. Thank God there was alcohol, that was a pleasant surprise.

The ceremony was lame, several bible verses, a girl and guy sang some song that was half english, half italian (the bride’s italian I suppose). My feet were killing me because those damn heels, and sister had a bunch of funny comments.

Then the reception, the food was splendid.

I also saw mother DANCING, and it was hilarious. My sister and I must’ve laughed a solid 5 minutes at the sight of that. But when she noticed us and tried to get us to join her, we quickly darted away.

Then to the bar at the frou-frou hotel. I mostly sat quietly with family as they gabbed about dresses, trips to Europe, jewelry, and so forth. Bleh. And the bar-tender was a dick. I gave him $10.00 for a $62.00 tab. Ha, so there.

Then my sis, her boyfriend and I went to our room, and fell asleep with Cheaters on.

I will NEVER get married.

I haven’t posted in such an extended period of time that it would take immense paragraphs just to catch up.

I can’t quite explain just how much my life has changed since my last entry; I’ve been traveling a lot and meeting new people. My sister (and others) have asked me if I’m experiencing a mental breakdown - and although I deny it; perhaps I just might be.

So far my travels (in the past 5 weeks) have taken me to Austin… back to my home-base (of Plano). Then to Austin once again, San Antonio… then Austin… then to Houston, followed by Beaumont, then back to home-base, then Oklahoma city… then home-base - followed by Beaumont, then New Orleans, then Beaumont/Houston area again, Home-base… then my hometown of El Paso… followed by Cloudcroft (New Mexico), El Paso once again, Ruidoso (New Mexico)… a brief stop in Roswell… and now back home in plain old Plano. I met a fellow named Devin in Austin and he’s been coming with me everywhere, we get along pretty well and he’s pleasant to have around.

The places and faces I’ve seen have been beyond interesting and (for lack of a word) educational.

I’ve meet kids who live different lives of drifting and train hopping; although often I think it is immature of them I appreciate they’re stories and grow curious of their nonconformist ideals. They’ve taught me much about life; and although I like to hear of what they have been through - it makes me feel that I am a person trapped and held by strings of society. A part of me wants to fuck it all away; and live just as they are. But I’ve got so many things bound too that I can’t just “up and leave”. But hearing their stories, their lives… - I can’t quite put it into perspective in text.

I have a new outlook on my life - and it depresses me.. but at the same time makes me further thankful for what I have.
BUT…. To keep up with what I do have - I’ve got to attend college, be successful - bury myself in a hole of a 9-5 work atmosphere - become that “something” of a person. Do I want that? I’m 21 years old and more confused then I have ever been.

I suppose I’m dumb, hypocritical… insubordinate, careless. But at the same time I know I’m a nice person, but how far will that go?

How do I explain?

Pictures will come soon… I just don’t feel like coding and uploading them at this moment.

Was AMAZING.

And so…
Britney and I drove to Oklahoma City to see a crust band by the name of “Fleas and Lice” on Friday night. We crashed over at Conner’s house, along with a bunch of other punky kids (a couple from my area that I am aquatinted with). I enjoyed it, ALOT. We didn’t actually see this band, everyone was piss drunk and started fights before they came on set, so we all left before the end of the show.
Then we drove back to Dallas the following day, where “Fleas and Lice” performed, so we saw them again. Britney got kicked out because the girl who worked the door saw her washing the under age X’s off her hands in the bathroom. Meanwhile - I jammed the night away.
Then, drove to Austin the next day (Sunday) and saw the band again. A couple of squatter kids asked me to drive them there, and I wanted to keep going… so it was spur of the moment. The door man didn’t let us in because he saw us drinking PBR infront of the club, but our friend (who I brought along) was able to contact the venue manager, and we got in.
So, Austin was my third night in a row to take part in drunken moshing.

Britney had a bath in Oklahoma, I - on the other hand… went those 3 days without any showers. I have never stunk so bad in my life… I never even took my pants off the entire time. I did wear a different shirt for the Dallas show, but put my KMFDM shirt back on for Austin after wearing it in OKC. By the time we got home on monday we looked like the worse case of squatter girl/ sewer rats.

hahaa. This pic is from when we got back.

Then, Britney punched some guy in OKC. Then in Austin she punched a parking meter.

And apparently the back of my truck doubles as a trash can.

In OKC… infront of Conner’s house.

I wish I could have kept going across the country to shows…

I’ve been in a funk for so long, and in the first time in many months I can taste a strange sense of security… and last weekend really helped.
The rituals that go on in my head for when I feel impending panic attacks have slightly worn off, and now I really feel that I have found my place in life - not entirely, but I’m a step closer.

When I go to shows, I feel panicked…. in that I am scared that something, anything can go wrong…. whether it’s someone being raped, hurt, arrested… but this weekend, I felt that kind of “impending doom” anxiety… but it did not fester severely as it usually does.

Maybe this is the beginning of the old Beth coming back?

Then, we’re going to Kansas for a festival.
And I’m the driver… but there is drama between everyone… but me. Personally, I want to take every person who can go, as I want to have a good time, with many people… many characters.
I don’t have drama with anyone, perhaps slight drama, but nothing that would interfer. I just want to take everyone. I just wish everyone would fucking get along!

I got out of high school 3 god damn years ago - I know I’ve started drama in my past and I feel bad, even dwell on it to the point where I can’t quite take it anymore. But all the drama I have caused was NOT INTENTIONAL. It’s usually because someone gets under my skin, and they knew they did…. or used me, and that’s why I dislike those I choose too.
But stupid, petty drama really pisses me off.

Petty HS bullshit is hard for me to tolerate. Bleh.

I love Blue Moon.

Oh! I got a hairless rat!

Britney suggested that I name her Labia… because she’s pink, hairless, and soft… but I didn’t like that. I decided on “Clit”… but then Brit mentioned the name “Beaver”. I liked that more, so now her name is Beaver.

She’s very nervous, but she’s young… it’s my job to introduce her to people and socialization so she will become a social rat.

The weekend wasn’t quite as great as planned. I had a wonderful time on saturday night. Britney and I went to a show (Unit 21 was the band) and I somehow managed to spend $50 on drinks at the damn bar; am now completely kicking myself for it. I think I bought some people drinks, but I’m not sure. I must’ve had 2 shots of Vodka, and about 5 beers. I also had two beers before I got there… so yes. I became “Drunken Belligerent Beth”.

Then there was an after-party where there was a keg… and I have no idea how much I had. I just remember running around like a retarded idiot shouting “EVERYONE HAVIN A GOOD TIME?!!!!” Then discussing random topics with strangers. I know I talked about horses, religion, punk music, industrial music…
Then pouring beer on Corbin and him pouring beer on me.
I wish I had his number so I could apologize. I don’t know why I act the way I do, at least I don’t start crying anymore.

I was like the way I was in high school at parties, I’d get crazy and only care about whether everyone having a fun time. I don’t know why, but sheesh…

Britney didn’t have much fun though *le sigh*

And photo of her and I..

And she’s got me addicted to age-defining makeup. The oiliness really helps the loose powder stick and looks like my skin is glowing. I hardly get acne anymore, so I suppose the oil won’t hurt.

Brandon had visited the city the weekend previous, but had to leave his motorcycle behind because it was having problems starting up. So last Friday night I agreed to drive down there with him and load his bike into the back of my pickup to bring her home.

So here he is, on his bike… in the back of my pickup. Click on for larger view.

Those scratches on the truck are from my previous post of when I got it stuck on the incline and scraped it along side a wall…

*ANYWAYS*
Austin was fabulous.

I went to Brandon’s brother’s house, met one of his room mates, and we drank beer and played Rock Band. I got into it, damn… that game is the shiznit. I played the bass, and it was damn easy.

Then we took a cab and went to 6th street in downtown. We went to some bar called “The Jackalope”, and apparently it wasn’t a very busy night, but to me… well, I was in bliss. Everyone was very nice and down to earth. Before long, after a couple double vodka and tonics and beers… I found myself asking strangers how the job market was, the best places to live, etc. I don’t plan on moving there, and never will… but it was damn fun. Every one was very nice to me, and I seemed to have much in common with all of them. The was just so many people all over the street and bands in every bar… oooh.

Then we walked through the street and Brandon pointed out the places he went before. I was feeling damn good and my cute red heels, and saying meaningless things to just-as-intoxicated-if-not-more strangers. I wanted to pet the mounted patrol horses, Brandon talked me out of it.

Then we caught a cab and went back to his brother’s house. It was over.
The guys loaded up the bike and we drove back the next day.

Well, a fun weekend!

This week sucked. Really Really Really sucked. I wish I wasn’t such an irresponsible dumbass.

Well. I figure - last week was a blast, so shit had to go down this time around to balance things out. That’s how it always is.

And another funny video from a few weeks ago, I don’t even remember when this happened. I’m in a drunken stupor in the background. Thanks again to Paula for another record.